He doesn't know what's wrong with him. He tries to be a nice person, he tries to treat everyone the way he wants to be treated, but somehow no one ever does the same for him. Except for Finn. But Finn deserves to have a boyfriend who can do awesome things for him and take him to cool places and buy him great presents for his birthday, and Sam can't do any of that. He has nothing to give Finn. And he's apparently not even that appealing at all or else he probably wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. His parents would actually want him.
He doesn't get it. There's something wrong with him, he knows that much, but he doesn't know what. He doesn't know how to fix this. He doesn't know how to be a good son or a good boyfriend, and he just really wants to tell Finn everything because he knows Finn will be nice about it, but he's so ashamed, and Finn already does so much for him. He'll just suck it up for now and go on like everything's okay, like thinking about this doesn't make his chest ache with fear and grief. He's okay. He's always okay. He has to be.
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{interlude - aka more word vomit from sam's head}
Date: 2011-06-09 03:32 am (UTC)He doesn't get it. There's something wrong with him, he knows that much, but he doesn't know what. He doesn't know how to fix this. He doesn't know how to be a good son or a good boyfriend, and he just really wants to tell Finn everything because he knows Finn will be nice about it, but he's so ashamed, and Finn already does so much for him. He'll just suck it up for now and go on like everything's okay, like thinking about this doesn't make his chest ache with fear and grief. He's okay. He's always okay. He has to be.