( prompt ) "It's six am. What are you doing?"

[lormenari]

It’s 6am and he’s already tired. He slept on the floor. Stevie, Stacey, and his mom all fit themselves into the bed, and there’s a cot for his dad. Sam’s back hurts. The blanket he uses is scratchy; he misses his old blue comforter that he’s had since he was nine.

Sam gets up before everyone else. He needs to or else he’ll be pressed against four other people trying to get ready in the morning. He needs time alone to breathe before he starts another day.

He hates this bathroom. It’s cramped and the water pressure barely feels like anything on his skin. He’ll shower in the locker room at school. Sam leans down and washes his face with cheap soap that dries out his skin. He used to be on Proactiv because looking good is important to him, but that’s money they no longer have. He brushes his teeth and examines his eyes, or rather the shadows beneath them. His hair is too long. It hasn’t even been a year since they moved but he doesn’t recognize himself. This isn’t the guy who walked into McKinley and easily snagged the quarterback position.

He goes back to the room and rifles through his clothes. Except they’re not even his clothes. He has a couple of shirts and hoodies left of his own, but everything else is either Kurt’s or Finn’s. He pulls out a gray long-sleeved shirt. He used to have one almost like this—he’s sure everyone will just think it’s his, but Sam knows it’s not. He shucks off the worn t-shirt he wears to sleep and slips into Finn’s shirt. He hides it underneath one of his own blue hoodies.

There are leftover doughnuts on the counter for breakfast, but Sam takes one look at them and feels like throwing up. He goes outside, quickly closing the door behind him, and takes a deep breath of fresh air. He squints up at the sunlight until his head spins, then he closes his eyes and pretends he’s back home, back in a uniform, with a group of boys he considers family.

After a while, he slowly opens his eyes. He looks at the cracked road in front of the motel, and his chest feels too tight.

Stevie and Stacey need to get up for school soon. Sam turns around and puts a hand on the doorknob.