lormenari | ( prompt ) "It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be."

It hurts the entire day. Sam can’t tell anyone, and he doesn’t want to show it because then he’d have to explain, and he can’t, so he grits his teeth and goes through the motions. Locker combination, books in, books out, class. Ignore the letter stuffed in his pocket, the one he’d found this morning slipped through the grates of his locker. The one that says they’re through.

He doesn’t even know what he did wrong.

He sees Finn from across the hallway after second period. He doesn’t think Finn sees him, but it’s more likely that Finn chooses not to see him. Sam watches him from his locker, watches him slip through the crowd, passing out that little half-smile to people who are decidedly not Sam, and it hurts.

He sees him again during lunch. They usually sit at the same table even if they’re not next to each other, but today Finn is with Quinn. It makes Sam’s throat seize. This time he knows Finn sees him because their eyes meet. For a split second Sam thinks Finn will come over and explain, but then Finn’s eyes slide past him nervously, turning back to Quinn. Sam skips lunch that day.

Glee is like torture. Sam sits in the back row and stares at the backs of Finn and Quinn’s heads. They’re together. Something happened and they’re back together. Sam’s out of the picture and he knows it. When Mr. Schuester dismisses them, Sam goes out to the nearly empty hallway and gets his backpack from his locker. When he turns around, Finn and Quinn are almost at the end of the hallway, and impulse takes control.

“Finn!” he calls, jogging over. They both turn around. Quinn has a polite but strained smile, probably due to their own history together, but Sam is focused on Finn. Finn looks at him with panic right below the surface. Sam puts his hand in his pocket, his fingers curling around the letter.

“Are you free this weekend?” Sam asks through the almost painful thudding of his heart. “We still gotta finish Final Fantasy.”

“Uh… this weekend’s not good,” Finn replies, and that’s all it takes for Sam to know it’s really over and he’s not getting anything else. He waits for Finn to say some other time or I’ll call you, but the only thing he hears is silence. Quinn clears her throat.

“I-I guess I’ll see you around,” Sam says in a low voice, blinking. Finn nods curtly, his brow furrowed and guilt apparent in his eyes. They turn and open the double doors, heading to the parking lot, and Sam bites his lip and crushes the letter in his pocket.