"I'd rather you just left than have to see you sleeping all over her at our place," Sam says in a low voice. "Unless I get too drunk to care." He drops the subject when he sees Quinn heading toward them out of the corner of his eye. She kisses him on the cheek, and Sam smiles at her, then does another shot while Puck kisses her and licks salt from her wrist and hands her the Cosmo he ordered and basically does a million little things that makes Sam want to crawl in a hole and die. A million little things that couples do when they're in love with each other. It comes so naturally to Puck and Quinn, and it never fails to send Sam into a jealous rage and/or a pity party.

"I'm getting wasted," Sam says, sprinkling more salt onto his hand as he sucks on a lime. "You two should go dance or something. When was the last time you guys actually danced in public? Probably, like, back in Glee Club." He throws back his fourth shot and slams the glass onto the bar, popping a lime in his mouth and looking at Puck. "Go ahead. Ask the lady to dance, Puckerman." Sam can't decide whether he wants them to stay just so he can be privy to the warm closeness they have together, or if he wants them as far away from him as possible so he doesn't have to see how grossly perfect they are for each other.